Parenting
Becoming a parent involves raising a child and that job lasts forever. There are many different ways to raise children and everyone has a different strategy. The way we parent today is very different from how our ancestors raised children.
As Dr. Leonard Sax mentions, " the recent collapse of parenting, which he says is at least partly to blame for kids becoming overweight, overmedicated, anxious and disrespectful of themselves and those around them." Parenting has become less about raising children and more about pleasing children to keep them happy. Having upset children is difficult for parents to deal with so giving them something to please them is an easy option. Making deals or letting children get away with disobedience is corrupting children's ability to be raised by parents.
"In this way, what happens over a meal is a metaphor for how uncomfortable parents have become in their position as the “alpha” or “pack leader” or “decider” of the family—the boss, the person in charge. The grown-up." Many parents struggle to be in charge of their family. From the first time they cave in to give the child what it wants they lose control.
"Parents also want a democratic household where each family member has a say about what happens—Should we go outside now? Are we ready to have a bath? Would you like to have the party here?—and they cultivate independence and freedom of thought in their children. Strict obedience used to be praised; now it is seen as outdated and potentially dangerous. Compliance might mean your kid is a pushover, which no parent wants, especially as bullying has spread from the schoolyard to cyberspace.
There are broader influences shifting the parent-child dynamic as well. Over the past half-century or more, the public has come to scorn power imbalances based on gender, race, religion and sexual orientation, and historic gains have been achieved in the pursuit of equality. Even corporations are now replacing pyramidal management with “flat organization.” In Western society, where equality for everyone has become a cultural objective and a constitutional right, children are treated like they are one more minority group to honour and empower. “Empower has come to seem virtuous,” Sax says. “Empower everyone, why not?” " The way we lead our family impacts our children. We need to make sure that children have a place in our family and that doesn't include leading the family in decisions. They can have a say but should not be a sole decision maker.
"The evolution hasn’t been easy, though. “We’re trying to pull off the emotion coaching but we haven’t received the training,” says Nair. “It’s like teaching your kids to speak French while you’re learning it in the textbook.” Parents have made it a top priority that their kids feel heard and respected from a young age. They want to be emotionally available to them, and for their children to be able to express their own emotions. “Kids have permission to have tantrums now because [they’re] learning how to manage feelings,” says Nair. “Someone said to me, ‘Are we seeing more tantrums now than we used to?’ And I wonder.” " It is perfectly fine for kids to have tantrums and show emotions. Growing up requires managing emotions and behaving appropriately.
Raising children is a vital part of being a parent. There are many issues with modern parenting styles, but we need to remained focus on the main goal, raising children. Whichever way is decided by the parents will have an effect on the child no matter what. There will always be some good and some bad effects.
As Dr. Leonard Sax mentions, " the recent collapse of parenting, which he says is at least partly to blame for kids becoming overweight, overmedicated, anxious and disrespectful of themselves and those around them." Parenting has become less about raising children and more about pleasing children to keep them happy. Having upset children is difficult for parents to deal with so giving them something to please them is an easy option. Making deals or letting children get away with disobedience is corrupting children's ability to be raised by parents.
"In this way, what happens over a meal is a metaphor for how uncomfortable parents have become in their position as the “alpha” or “pack leader” or “decider” of the family—the boss, the person in charge. The grown-up." Many parents struggle to be in charge of their family. From the first time they cave in to give the child what it wants they lose control.
"Parents also want a democratic household where each family member has a say about what happens—Should we go outside now? Are we ready to have a bath? Would you like to have the party here?—and they cultivate independence and freedom of thought in their children. Strict obedience used to be praised; now it is seen as outdated and potentially dangerous. Compliance might mean your kid is a pushover, which no parent wants, especially as bullying has spread from the schoolyard to cyberspace.
There are broader influences shifting the parent-child dynamic as well. Over the past half-century or more, the public has come to scorn power imbalances based on gender, race, religion and sexual orientation, and historic gains have been achieved in the pursuit of equality. Even corporations are now replacing pyramidal management with “flat organization.” In Western society, where equality for everyone has become a cultural objective and a constitutional right, children are treated like they are one more minority group to honour and empower. “Empower has come to seem virtuous,” Sax says. “Empower everyone, why not?” " The way we lead our family impacts our children. We need to make sure that children have a place in our family and that doesn't include leading the family in decisions. They can have a say but should not be a sole decision maker.
"The evolution hasn’t been easy, though. “We’re trying to pull off the emotion coaching but we haven’t received the training,” says Nair. “It’s like teaching your kids to speak French while you’re learning it in the textbook.” Parents have made it a top priority that their kids feel heard and respected from a young age. They want to be emotionally available to them, and for their children to be able to express their own emotions. “Kids have permission to have tantrums now because [they’re] learning how to manage feelings,” says Nair. “Someone said to me, ‘Are we seeing more tantrums now than we used to?’ And I wonder.” " It is perfectly fine for kids to have tantrums and show emotions. Growing up requires managing emotions and behaving appropriately.
Raising children is a vital part of being a parent. There are many issues with modern parenting styles, but we need to remained focus on the main goal, raising children. Whichever way is decided by the parents will have an effect on the child no matter what. There will always be some good and some bad effects.
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