Sexual Intimacy

Sexual Intimacy

Within marriage, sexual intimacy is a special bond between a husband and wife. There is healthy and unhealthy sexual intimacy characteristics that Laura Brotherson shares in her article “Raising the Bar on Intimate Relationships” that I want to go through. Let’s start with some of the unhealthy characteristics that could be present in a relationship.

First is being uncomfortable, ashamed, critical, or embarrassed with either your body or your partners body. There is no reason to hide these emotions when you can discuss them with your partner or even a counselor. These emotions or thoughts could be just covering up the real issues in the relationship.

Non-sexual affection only as a precursor to sex is also another big issue. This is portrayed a lot in society today especially in media. Also going along with this issue is expecting sex. Having the expectation for sex doesn’t support a real relationship rather it promotes a relationship like cohabitation with the goal of having sex. 

Unrestrained and impulse gratification can also cause issues in a relationship as it shows no control or no regard for a healthy boundary. Performance-based intimacy will only lead to disappointment. 

Being detached mentally and emotionally will have the same effect as the unrestrained relationship in a sense. This can be like being uneducated or even uninformed. Being taught negatively about sexual intimacy can result in false expectations or disappoint in the relationship. 

Having a one-dimensional relationship means that one person in the relationship is not attempting to have a connection with their partner. No mental, emotional, or spiritual connection with their significant other. 

When only one spouse initiates or puts forward the effort to have sexual intimacy this can create feelings on pressure or depression. 

Being self-centered will most definitely hurt the relationship as a healthy relationship requires two people not just one person.

Those are some of the negative characteristics of sexual intimacy and now we can talk about some of the good qualities.

Being accepting, embracing, and comfortable with your body is key to having a good body image and confidence in yourself.

Having affection not tied to sex creates a strong relationship outside of sexual intimacy. It creates an intimate relationship at all times with a strong connection to one another. 

God gave us agency and a close relationship doesn’t change that. Each partner in a relationship should have agency to do as they please within reason. This could be allowing alone time and time with friends. Having agency in a relationship will look different to everyone but having it is a crucial part of a healthy relationship.

Having bridled, restrained, and respectful passion is not only good but can enhance the sexual intimacy of a relationship. Knowing when to and not to engage in sexual activity and how to properly show affection is a great way to show respect to one another.

Having a connection-based relationship creates a strong bond between the two in the relationship. Being present and engaged is also a critical part of having a good relationship. No one likes a space cadet especially in relationships.

Being informed and educated is also great for communication about sensitive matters like sexual intimacy.

Having a multi-dimensional relationship can improve the overall health as well as sexual intimacy. Having the connection between mental, emotional, and spiritual things helps the relationship be something more than just sex.

Being healthy with sexual intimacy requires mutual effort or mutual initiation. Both partners must work together to create a healthy relationship not just one person.

Probably one of the best things to summarize a healthy relationship is mutuality. Being together on everything and becoming one in the relationship.