Divorce, Remarriage & Aging Families
This topic is very personal to me because my parents were divorced just a few years ago. Currently my Mom is about to be remarried very soon.
When a husband and wife decide to divorce it affects more than just them. Their children, family, and friends are all affected.
"Is divorce ever good for you? Is it ever good for children? In the short run, the answer to both questions is no for most people. We say "most" because there are cases in which divorce can be a health-saving or even a life-saving event for an abused wife. It can be a form of social and emotional deliverance for a child victimized by a highly conflicted family life. Some marriages should not last."
"At the same time, many marriages end that could have turned out to be satisfying. According to Waite and Gallagher (2000), the majority of couples who are unhappy can work through their problems and have a happy union within five years. Of course, this means that a minority won't be happy even if they try to work through their problems. In the long run, then, the answer to the question of whether divorce is ever good for you varies. The question of whether divorce is ever good for you varies. The question of whether a divorce would be good for you or whether it would be good for your children is not easy to answer."
When my parents were in the divorce proceedings I was 17, almost 18, so I knew exactly what was happening and why it was happening. What made things difficult for me is that my Mom and I had just moved to Florida to be with my Father again after he had been working out of state for 6 years. As my Mom and Dad had just bought a house and finished making the needed repairs he asked for a divorce. My Mom came back to Virginia to pick me up after some scout and youth events. We had a very long and quiet drive to my sisters house in Richmond to tell her which was very painful. The drive to Florida was also very long and quiet. I ended up driving 10 of the 15 hours so my Mom could sleep since she hadn't slept in a couple days.
So here I was in a new home, in a new state, with no friends, alone with my Mom left to clean up the mess that my Father had just created. Ultimately I ended up growing more in that year than any other time previously but not before I suffered through many hardships with my Mom. We were left to unpack all of our belongings only to stage our home so it can be sold. Any repairs that needed to be done were only done to sell the house. We felt as if we couldn't really move into this wonderful home that we loved because we were already preparing to list it for sale.
My sisters took the divorce much worse than I did. To this day one sister hasn't really talked to my Dad in three years. My other sister still yells over the phone if they do talk. Then there is me stuck in the middle. My Dad was my best friend, we did so many things together. He taught me to drag race and work on cars. Trying to maintain the relationship that we had as well as being the only family member talking to him made me the middle man for the whole family.
This is why I don't advocate for divorce is almost every circumstance although there are warranted cases. No family or children should have to experience what I had to go through.
